| Dear Loser*, Aspiring Loser or General Hanger-On: Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears! (William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar")
My Bluetooth headphones haven't worked for years. My bounty is as boundless as the sea. ("Romeo and Juliet")
That's all the storm relief you'll get from me. — D.J.T., Washington They're called tailgaters -- you take a line from literature, then pair it with your own line to make a funny couplet. This week, in Style Invitational Week 1329, one line has to be from Shakespeare -- don't worry, he's kind of easy to find online -- and it can be either the first or second line. Deadline is Monday night, May 6. And we have the winning jokes that might have been said at this Saturday's White House Correspondents' Association dinner -- had they not decided to go without a comic this year. Snark abounds. Annnd ... we introduce our 2019-20 Loser Magnets for honorable mentions, drawn as usual by Bob Staake. Collect the pair! Especially if you're thinking of entering Week 1329, check out my supplementary column The Style Conversational, in which I offer some tips as well as the results of our earlier tailgater contests, and talk about what worked and didn't work in the one-liner contest. This week's Invitational: wapo.st/invite1329
This week's Conversational: wapo.st/conv1329 — Pat Myers, Empress of The Style Invitational *That's Loser with a capital L; named for the runner-up prizes emblazoned "LOSER," the community of regular Style Invitational entrants now proudly calls itself the Losers. If you enter the Invite, you're a Genuine Loser. But not (necessarily) a loser. pat.myers@washpost.com | 
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