hafifah blogspot: On Parenting: We need to let our kids bear some stress

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

On Parenting: We need to let our kids bear some stress

There has been a lot of talk about helicoptering, snow plowing and other "get any sign of trouble out of my kids' way" parenting lately. But according to Jennifer Breheny Wallace's story this week, it's important to let kids stress out a bit: "While chronic or traumatic stress can be damaging, psychologists say normal, everyday stress — in the right dose and viewed through the right lens — can be helpful, pushing adolescents to grow beyond their limits and setting them up to thrive."

I worry about so much information pointing to unhealthy amounts of stress and anxiety in kids' lives. I think about what all my nagging and our talking about homework, grades and tests does to my boys. I read the upsetting stats and news about today's teens. So, as with all things related to raising kids, I know we parents need to find a balance. We also need to let our kids sweat through it a little.

Our sixth-grader has so many quizzes, assessments and a big old standardized test coming up. He has a science competition, baseball tournaments and chores at home. Sometimes this boy of ours will tell us how stressed he is and that it's not easy being 11. We try to listen, and then help him break his problems down into smaller pieces. But at the same time, I want to just make it all easier for him. I know that's not the way to go, and he won't learn or grow if we move the stresses out of his way.

Read the piece below to get some helpful insight and tips. I know I did.

In other news, did your family mark Earth Day this year? We spent most of it outside, worked on our compost bin and started our garden for the season. We also had a discussion about our own carbon footprints. That 11-year-old I just mentioned has a great science teacher who had them tracking theirs. (He's decided he'll try to eat less meat to reduce his impact.) So I was thrilled to have a smart piece from Philippe Cousteau about how we can help our kids lead the way to saving the planet. It's so urgent and important these days.

Finally, make sure to join Meghan Leahy for her chat Wednesday. You can ask your parenting questions now. And, as always, join us anytime on Facebook and Twitter.

Thanks for reading.

Amy Joyce, On Parenting editor

Don't worry about your child's everyday stress. It may be helping.

Healthy stress is motivating, and parents can help kids harness the good from it.

By Jennifer Breheny Wallace · Read more

Perspective

Helping our kids take the lead in saving the planet

Philippe Cousteau offers three ways to help young people get engaged and excited about making a positive impact on the planet and their communities.

By Philippe Cousteau Jr. · Read more

Perspective

I felt like an incompetent mother. Then I learned how to not feel so alone.

I was overwhelmed by parenting, and my kids' health issues. Writing helped me find a way out.

By Angie Kim · Read more

Perspective

The danger of always trying to protect kids from disappointment and shame

I've sought to spare my children from suffering. But in doing so, I unwittingly encouraged them to blame me for their problems instead of working through them.

By Darlena Cunha · Read more

Perspective

In showing her own strength, my daughter taught me that I, too, am strong

Once a high-powered lawyer and self-assured mother, each day I was struggling to overcome the avalanche of self-doubt that followed my husband's affair.

By Beverly Willett · Read more